Angels Don't Always Wear White - Sometimes They Wear Fatigues

Behold an early Christmas gift that showed up on my doorstep yesterday!! An angel dressed in his fatigues!! Let me explain....

I attended the funeral for my little student's mother yesterday morning.... it was a beautiful, simple, very emotional ceremony. Afterwards, we went to their home for a warm reception. I'll admit....I was worthless. The food and kitchen activities were being handled by wonderful women from our school. Family and friends gathered and visited and children ran up and down the stairs while a video of this beautiful mom taken from her family way too soon played on the television. I found little J, and once again, she jumped up on me for a long, tight hug - and at one point, I was embarrassed by myself, for I felt that the tides had turned a bit and that she was comforting me more than I was her. After paying my respects, I quietly left.....

I had a few gifts to buy for my son and daughter so I attempted to go to several stores to get these....well, I was a total idiot driving around town.... I couldn't focus, got lost, had tons of doubts about what I had planned on buying for them, etc. I finally made it into one store and was looking through all of the picture frames (I am going to give the picture of J and her family to them next week, I've decided) when someone called out my name. I turned around to see one of my wonderful parents whom I have known for many years and her boyfriend. Let's be honest here....

I looked like shit.

I was embarrassed by how I looked - puffy, red eyes...make-up cried off.....sorrow in my heart as I feebly attempted to find some Christmas spirit among the left-over items on the store shelves... We exchanged pleasantries and good wishes and I went on with my shopping....

When I got home, I was absolutely spent. Four days into my winter break, and I was worn out, cried out and so behind in what I felt I needed to do to be ready for the big day this week. I fixed myself a snack since I hadn't eaten all day and just as I took the first bite, the doorbell rang. "Crap!" I thought....

M couldn't tell who it was and so I went to the door. A quick glance through the window showed a military man standing at my door. 'Great!' I thought. 'Now they have military men selling magazine subscriptions door to door!' I opened the door and started to say "Yeessss..... ??" .....
but before I could even say the sound for the letter 'y', I gasped, screamed and burst into tears, for standing at my door was this wonderful young man!!! Who is he? He is a former student of mine...from many years ago!

This is Nick - a new recruit who enlisted into the Army Reserves this past September. Back in August, 1998, I was fortunate enough to be hired as my daughter's 1st/2nd grade substitute as her teacher went on maternity leave. I was to begin the school year with her class (who was returning back to her from having done 1st grade with her) and I was her sub through Thanksgiving. The children all knew each other, as they had been together the previous year. But I received a new little student Nick, one day - I believe his family came from California. He was quiet, shy, cute and a bit moody about all of the changes he was going through. There were days he would quietly be a bit stubborn about doing his work. I tried my bag of tricks to get through to him - none of which were very successful. Finally, out of sheer frustration, I walked the class to P.E., but told Nick to come back to the classroom with me. We were going to have a pow-wow about his behavior. And we did. I'll never forget Nick sitting in that little blue plastic chair by mine. His hands in his lap. His bottom lip sticking out. His brown eyes looking sad. And his jaw set firm as I told him how the cow ate the cabbage. He stoically listened to everything I said showing no emotion and saying nothing. Afterwards, we walked back to pick up the class from P.E. in silence and I was sure that I had turned him off to me, school, everything with my hard-nosed chat with him that day.

But something in this young boy didn't give up on me. No, Nick never gave up on me.

Through the years, as he went through the intermediate grades, he would come by my room every so often to get a hug and say 'hello'. I would ask him how he was doing, how school was going, how his family members were doing. We'd visit for a while, then I'd hug him, tell him to take care and go back to the rhythm of my day. Nick moved on to junior high and high school - even being in band with my daughter and I'd ask her if she had seen Nick and how was he. Occasionally, I'd see him riding his bike around the neighborhood and we'd sometimes run into each other at the store, etc. Often, Nick would show up at my home out of the blue and we'd catch up on how he was doing. A couple of years ago, Nick had a period of time, like so many young people do, where some choices he made weren't the best for him. I was ticked at what I heard he was doing and scared, too. Yet, when he would come by, I'd always have a hug for him and listen to his world.

This past summer, the doorbell rang one hot day. There was Nick. I hadn't seen him in a while and he looked great! He had just spent the day at the V.A. hospital getting his physical done....he had enlisted in the Army Reserves! I was happy, thrilled, shocked and ... yes, scared. How can you not be scared for anyone who is in the military?? He spoke with confidence, excitement, focus and direction. I listened to his future, his hopes, his life before him and I couldn't stop thinking of how much this young boy was growing into such a wonderful young man!! He promised to keep in touch with me as he hugged me and left....

And he did. Here he was now, sitting in my family room - confident, strong, happy, secure and full of love for what he is doing!!! He finishes up in February and will be stationed here in the valley. He will be heading out to Afghanistan within a year. He and M had a wonderful visit, too - these two classmates who have known each other since 2nd grade.... And he was so sweet as I would occasionally get teary-eyed throughout our visit..... my emotions already raw and then to be graced with his surprise visit. What a blessing I was given!!

The time came that he had to be going. He gave me another big, huge hug as he put on his jacket and hat. He's staying with his family and catching up with his friends. We exchanged emails and he will keep in touch with me. I told him how very, very proud I am of him and how happy and great he looks!! He knows my door is always open to him.

I received the most wonderful of Christmas gifts today - a visit from my Nick. It reminds me that, each night when I lay my head down to sleep, there are untold numbers of men and women all around this world, like Nick, who are standing post in the cold night, huddled in a tent or foxhole, or tending the wounded who give their lives to keep me safe and free..... to keep us all safe and free! May God bless each and every one of them and their families.

Yes.... angels don't always wear white.