Thursday, November 27, 2008

When It Doesn't Seem To Be Enough

Give Thanks

Two simple words, yet they hold so much grace, power and richness in their sounds.

The turkey is in the oven happy and stuffed. The Waldorf salad is made in honor and memory of my just wouldn't be Thanksgiving without her salad.
Pies are baked. Pans are ready for their assortment of goodies: Sagaponauck Corn Pudding, biscuits, mashed potatoes and the most wickedest gravy this side of the Pecos,
if I do say so myself.
A soft rain settles on the rooftops; turning leaves drip down upon the grass as the Earth begins a slow wake on this Thanksgiving morning...
doors open to let the outside in.
A dog, literally, lays at my feet, candles of pumpkin and spice dot the living room, dining room and family room.
As I sip my pumpkin-spiced coffee in my 'oak' leaf coffee cup, I find myself in humble gratitude to God for all that has come my way in so many ways.

I want for nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

I am so blessed...
and so very thankful this Thanksgiving Day.

And yet, 'thank you' just doesn't seem enough.

Reflections upon the last few years leave me with so many views.
Part disbelief of all that has happened in 3 short years.
Part sturdy resolve in making it through.
Part pure 'little girl scared' at what was, what did and what could have.
Part peaceful spirit in knowing that God was taking care of me all along the way...
and continues to.
Part grateful beyond expressed words to my children and all of my friends who have carried my wounds, my dreams, my hopes, my outlook, my heart and my hand
when I just couldn't carry myself.

And yet, 'thank you' just doesn't seem enough.

This ornery 'squirrel in the forest' will be the first to proclaim 'I'm no bible thumper!' And the truth is, I'm not. But I go to church. I adore my pastor whose sermons are like taking a mini-college course. I learn about God, about faith, about the Bible, about our world's history, about my role on this planet, my challenges, my goals, my fellow man and this year, mostly about prayer. I have found myself walking down a 'prayer path' that was not part of my plan. Hesitantly, I have created talismans for this powerful practice, shared it with others, gifted some with it and tried to make sense of the power prayer so obviously has.
This Thanksgiving Day, two special people in my life are able to enjoy this day in ways that were only
hoped for, wished for...
prayed for.
The scope of the good that comes their way can only be explained in human terms as a 'miracle'.

And yet, 'thank you' just doesn't seem enough.

Each day the news reminds us all of the challenging times our world is in. Part of me has to chuckle for this has been the norm in my world for the last 3 years. I've turned my back to shopping in a frenetic crazed state of mind, buying things like there is no tomorrow. Newspaper ads, commercials, signs - all telling me how I have to give my hard-earned money to someone for some gadget that will bring 'unbridled joy and happiness' to my world bounce off of me and drop like stones.
Lessons learned these last three years have shown me the joy, the beauty, the gift of the written word...the simple token....the shared meal.... time spent together.
And once again, I will emerge on the other side of the 'holiday spirit' having not used a credit card or gone into debt to buy one gift this season.
Simplicity will have deeper meaning and give truer Christmas spirit -
to both the receiver
and myself.

And yet, 'thank you' just doesn't seem enough.

To tell God 'thank you' from deep within my heart ....
To hug my children and kiss their sweet cheeks
(um..even though they are 17 and 28 I can still do that, right??) ......
To hug my friends, tell them I love them and to thank them for
helping me along my path in this life.....
To silently tell the universe 'thank you' for all that I have, all that I've experienced,
for all of the lessons I have learned whether I wanted to or not....
Each 'thank you' is meant from my heart.
Purely, wholly, truly and simply.
But it just doesn't seem to be enough...
...or is it?

May your day of Thanksgiving bring peace, joy and love to you and
to all whom you share your world with.
I know that I appreciate you being a part of my world.
Happiest of Thanksgiving Day to you and yours

thank you.


Anonymous said...

Nice thoughts on a beautiful Thanksgiving Day !

Chickenbells said...

I am mighty thankful for this post...I wish I could have read it at the start of my day. Thank you for helping me remember what this day is all about. I am most of all...thankful for you, and the presence you are in my life.

N-Search of Peace said...

Happiest of Thanksgivings to you my precious Carol....
Again to repeat, I am so grateful that you were able to give this gratitude of the season, to yourself.....your day was yours for the first time in a long time.....
To a year ahead for you, in the manner to which you have chosen to live......happily....gratefully.....humbly....and in pure love.....
Like a crazy women, I adore you....

Nonnie said...

absolutely beautifully said, vb.......beautiful....and while reading it....i can truly say i understand when you say "thank you just doesn't seem to be enough"....i have found myself feeling that very thing the past days....wondering how else can i express my gratitude?
thank YOU....for the warmth and comfort and beauty of your words!
and i hope your day was wonderful!
my dad was taken to the hospital yesterday morning early....but has been diagnosed with gallstones and surgery to be tomorrow....praying all will be well with him.

Jane said...

Wow! This post is so powerful. I know what you mean, thank you does not seem enough. We truly are so blessed, and have much to give thanks about. I want to say thank you to YOU! You are a bright spot in my life, and in the life of my little one. We are both so blessed to have you share such an important part in Aly's life. She adores you. I think the world of you, and thank you does not seem enough for all that you do.

I loved your thoughts on prayer too. Such a powerful tool. We have experienced many miracles too by this power.

Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy every minute of your week-end.

SweetAnnee said...

Saying thank you is good, living thank you is best
Love to you

GutsyWriter said...

Gratitude is one of the reasons we moved our kids from Orange county, California to live on an island in Belize. We were tired of the entitlement attitude of young people today, so we moved. We came back and our kids have learned some life changing lessons. Nature and beauty and love, did some amazing things for my family. Great blog. I'm glad to have found you.

Jolene George said...

That was so amazingly written. You surely have mighty powerful words and the gift to get them out so beautifully. You are a treasure dear sweet Carol.

Susie of Arabia said...

Wow Carol - You really are an eloquent writer. I felt you every step of the way on this post. So reflective of the past, so content in the present, and so hopeful for the future.
Sorry I'm so late in commenting, but I am so far behind on my reading, it's not funny!
Happy Holidays to you and your lovely family!