Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Consider Me Mesmerized

I am thoroughly entranced by the moon. I watch its phases. I know the names of each full moon throughout the year. I mark its appearance on my calendar. I follow it at night as it rolls across the sky. This morning, I was in awe at its brilliance in the low-slung northwestern sky as I drove to work. I have always found it beautiful. Mysterious. Calming. A quiet beauty few take notice of.
Tonight marks the rise of the Full Snow Moon. Since the heaviest snow usually falls during this month, native tribes of the north and east most often called February's full Moon the Full Snow Moon. Some tribes also referred to this Moon as the Full Hunger Moon, since harsh weather conditions in their areas made hunting very difficult.
Do me a favor. At some point this week... take pause. Take notice. Look at the horizon. Or step outside before turning in for the evening and putting the day to bed. Look up. Look towards the brillance. Gaze for a moment. Look. Really look at it. What you will be looking at is estimated to be 4.5 billion - that's right.... with a 'b' ... years old. Think about that.
How can one not be mesmerized??

Monday, January 21, 2008

Walking The Path

I took a journey today....

....one that I've planned on doing many times before....
...but just 'never made the effort to do it'. It was always one of those things of 'I should do that sometime.' ... and never did... until today.

When I started, I thought I knew the way. It's the riparian area of my town, and as many times as I've seen it as I go by or visit the neighboring library, I soon realized that the direction that I thought the path I was on would go, it didn't. When I thought I should go this way, the path I was on went the other way. So I followed it...not knowing where I was going.

There were times that I was surrounded by 8 ft. walls of brush and bramble and trees. Not able to see to the sides...only straight ahead.

Other times I was able to see through a break...and take in a different view.

While I knew where I was in general, the view and details were new to me. I hadn't been this way before. I wasn't sure what would meet me around the bend up ahead or what I might find.

But every once in a while, a familiar anchor would greet me...letting me know that I was on the right path. Signs would steer me in the right direction - if I heeded them, that is.

Along the way, friends would meet me... almost cheering me on!

And every so often, tokens of love and care.... left by those before me...

A time or two some told me what they thought of my journey...

perhaps a warning...to stay on my path...
or some advice....
or both!

...and if I grew weary, there was always a place to rest...reflect...renew....for the rest of the journey ahead....

I couldn't help but notice the footprints of those who had gone before me.
As I walked this path, with more of it behind me as opposed before me, it became evident for me to keep my focus ahead....to look to the future... to see what the universe has in store for me...
Soon, my starting point came into view....
and I realized that I had completed a new journey.... and that I was a wealthier soul for it....
Funny how walks imitate life.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Welcome to The Four Seasons

The calendar says it's winter. But only in the Arizona desert can you have all four seasons thriving together at the same time.....

Spring is happily blooming in my English Garden...

...while summer blooms her sunniness...

and not to be forgotten...

fall twirls down....

umm...okay...so I have a hard time saying 'goodbye' to fall....

*all pictures taken today while working in my backyard...

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Okay, Mom... I Get It Now

Ever go to an antiques store?
I use to visit them allllll the time; and I've made many a purchase in them thar stores. I remember dragging my mom with me a couple of times and just ooooh-ing and ahhhhh-ing at all of the depression glass, wood furniture, crocks, etc. One time as we were shopping, my mom said that she didn't find any of the things charming at all. "I grew up in the depression. This is the stuff that I grew up with. When I see it, it reminds me how tough times were." I still have and love my many purchases - some almost 30 years old. But I've always remembered those words of my mother.
Today, I headed over to my local antiques shop in search of a french book or old journal/ledger. It was a cloudy Saturday. Creative juices were swimming in my head. Inspiration was stretching its arms. Off I went for a casual trip down memory lane and hopefully, a find or two.
As I headed down the first of many aisles in this huge place, I was eyeing booths that had books. One of the ladies who works there told me to try 'this man's booth'. He was the guy who had the most and she thought I might find something there. So I started looking at his shelves - he had quite a few in different categories and I was a bit hopeful I'd find my ledger.
I didn't find my ledger. But I did see a big, thick brown book laying flat on one of the shelves. Hmmm... this looks familiar. Hmmm..... I picked it up and noticed it was a yearbook from...oh my gosh! My high school! Wait a minute... it's from my junior year! Oh my gosh!! I quickly thumbed to the 'juniors' section... and ... there I was!! My junior picture. A young 16 year old girl (my daughter's age) smiling in black and white up from the page. I had to catch my breath. I quickly thumbed to the 'D's'. There was my ex. We were highschool sweethearts. I had to catch my breath again. I remember those days so well. They were just yesterday.
I was for sale in an antiques shop!!!!!!!!!!
Am I so old that I'm an antique?? Has my generation moved into the world of 'back in the olden days' ?? Will someone browse through that book some afternoon and take it up to the cashier and marvel about their new antique book?? That I'm in??!!??
I put the book back on the shelf. With a somewhat dazed look, I moved on down the aisle of boothes... not even sure what I was looking for anymore. I tried calling my ya-ya's - 'Please just tell me that I'm not an antique!!'... but no answer. Another lady who works there walked by and asked me if I was finding everything alright. 'Oh... yeah....' I mumbled. She smiled sweetly and said 'It's all a bit overwhelming in here, isn't it?"
Lady, you have no idea.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Taking a New Year to Heart

It's a new year and I'm ready to PAH-tay! Well, ready to face the new year with a fresh outlook. Things have been a bit..um... shall we say 'pensive' the last 2 1/2 weeks. A routine visit to the doctor turned into a bit of a health crisis regarding my heart. Needless to say, I've been a controlled wreck since that little visit - worried beyond belief for so many reasons and questioning every little thing that happens. It was a bit difficult ringing in the new year with optimism when I had such a heavy matter - literally -weighing on my heart.

However, miracles do happen. Things sometimes surprise even us A-type personalities who think we know it all! A visit with the cardiologist yesterday was completely the opposite of what I expected to have happened. In a nutshell, a heart anomally that I have had for the last 16 years is no longer. Not there. I'm fine.

The shock of this took the rest of the day (and night) and this morning to sink in. Sixteen years is a long time to think that you have something wrong with such an important piece of equipment, only to be told - and shown - that you don't! I called my friend, N....from the car...to tell her. And then I shared a bit of something that I had told noone about. That upon waking one morning, a 'voice' told me that I was going to be fine. That my heart was just fine. That it was even 'healed' of it's trouble. A calming accompanied this message.

Of course, being who I am, I had to explain this logically. Let me just spare the time and say, that in the end, there really isn't a defined explanation. And I am okay with that. Lesson #1 - I don't know everything nor control everything. Someone else takes a turn driving, and I need to be okay with that.

The wonderful news did not, however, minimize the kick-in-the-butt I received - about my health. Health. Oh yeah. That topic. A topic I have woefully neglected. In all of my responsibilities over the last two years, I have not, repeat...NOT, put my health on the list. Oh sure, I take my one thyroid supplement every morning - after losing my hair when I quit taking it earlier this year. But that's it. No vitamins. None. No calcium. No nothing. There was even a whole page in the medical packet yesterday asking what supplements I take. Vitamin A? No. Vitamin C? No. Iron? Nope. Multi-vitamin? That would be a 'no'. I literally didn't check a one, and wrote off in the margin 'Uh... maybe I SHOULD be taking something??!?" The nurse chuckled.

Somehow, sitting buck naked on that papered examine table for 30 minutes with a worn gown that must be a size 2 pulled around your butt and boobs gives one pause for how well they have, or have not, taken care of themselves. I have not taken care of myself. Shame on me.

So, today, starts my new year. A year of change. A year of putting my health as a priority on my list of things to do each and every day. Less cholesterol. More exercise. And I am now the proud owner of bottles of vitamins, fish oil, calcium and B12 complex. Ross and I are also going to continue our walk that we've been doing daily for the last 2 1/2 weeks.

Miss N showed up later in the day bearing a beautiful boquet! Crafty woman that she is, tucked inside were several quotes of optimism. This one is her favorite, and mine. A wonderful way to begin the year!

I have hopes and wishes for you, too! I wish you peace in your home each night. I wish you health - for you, your family and your friends. I wish you joy in what you do.

Here is to a great 2008!