Thursday, March 30, 2006

Creation is Everywhere

I work in the most beautiful of places. Trees stand sentry around ... full of lush, new, green leaves just bursting with spring life. Gardens are frequent... like rest stops along the highway, beckoning a passer-by to a bit...and enjoy the view (which I do!). Birds share their habitat with us humans. It's not uncommon to see an Inca dove carrying a piece of dry grass up to a pillar top as she builds her new nest for the year. Hummingbirds play tag among us, literally! Woe to the bird who gets too close to a hummer's nest...such a big racket they make for such a tiny bird!! Not a day goes by that I don't wish that I had a camera hanging around my neck so that I could capture all of the beauty that I see around. From clouds above to ladybugs in the field, I work in a beautiful place. This little guy was snapped this afternoon... he held still just long enough for me to capture his smile, before gently swaying to the left as a spring breeze past by. Such intense color from such a fragile flower... poppy, in case you were wondering.

I have been inspired to create while reading my book "Moving On..." (see earlier post). Susan suggests an intriguing activity - to create a scrapbook journal of how you invision your home to by room by garden. In my situation, this piece of the puzzle fits neatly into the big picture. As I cross the bridge from this house to a new one (unknown at this point, but somewhere over there) I find myself thinking about how it will look, how I will decorate it, what I would like it to feel like ... to say... So I got myself a scrapbook and customized it to what I needed for my project.... sheets of cardstock in celery, bisque, butter, blush.... pockets for stashing clippings in of cool ideas... pages on which to write down ideas, thoughts, wishes, inspirations. I think this is a good step in a postive direction.

Baby steps...

Saturday, March 25, 2006

What a Difference a Day Makes

Unbelievable how one can grow so much in just a few hours. Today was just such a day. I'd been feeling blue and down this week; today was the day to move all of J's items out of the house. It went well - a lot of stuff was moved and I was so glad to get rid of it all! It was like cleaning out a bad spirit when it was done. This was a good day in so many ways...a physical cleaning out of the home and reinforcement that what I am doing is the right thing to do.

To add to the wonderful renewal of spirit today, I picked up and began reading a book I bought last Saturday. If you are familiar with the book Simple Abundance, then you know about Susan Ban Breathnach. She has a new book out called Moving On - Creating Your House of Belonging with Simple Abundance. Two pages into the introduction and I knew that fate was winking at me, letting me know that this was no accident to have this book in my hands...and on of all days, today! Immediately, a sense of calm and 'you're on the right path, girl' came over me and I knew that I'd be okay. I re-read the introduction 3 times and got something new each time. Susan's words are that powerful and they strike such a personal chord with her reader, that you truly have to re-read and savor the words to appreciate all that is being given to you by her writing, words, wisdom and blessings. Grace guided me today and I am grateful for it's comfort.

New bed, new pink sheets, cleaned and freshened bedroom... yes, all is well tonight and my home has a new spirit about it. I have even had the thought cross my mind more than once that if, for some reason, we were to stay here, it would be okay. It could still be my home - with a different, new spirit! We'll see what the future holds and what my divinity is going to give me.

I know that tonight, I will sleep. Perhaps well, for the first time in a long time. the way, I sent every one of his shirts to him.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Mi Amigas - muchas gracias!

Girlfriends are incredible assets in one's life. They are powerful forces that should never be doubted. They possess such a intuative, innate, instinctive ability to soothe, nurture, relieve, enfold, support, comfort and face life's trials and tribulations. When things are hard, difficult, tough... my girlfriends buck me up. Case in point... this week has been tough. Today was a bit tougher. But the beauty of the tough part, was that I was graced by girlfriends who passed their strength to me through words, understanding, hugs and a margarita. Early this morning, J shared breakfast with me and cracked me up with her funny mood! She can be such a stitch! I am grateful to S, who lent me a kleenex and a shoulder this morning. She was sincerely concerned and her perspective and words were wise. I am so glad that J stopped by with a hug and an ear. Just the way she nodded her head as she listened to me turned me around towards a brighter window. The day ended with the honoree of this book, Ruthie. I loved the way she offered me up the straight talk. Gentle in not wanting to come across in a harsh manner (she couldn't do that even if she tried), but pulling the 'truth card' and telling me from an honest view what my head was saying and what my heart needed to hear in a different voice. (the above book was a gift I made for Ruthie; a little hand-made book honoring her spirit and the wonderful gem that she is to me and so many others) Early this morning, I was sinking in an emotional quicksand. Fighting to not go down deeper. Each of these precious women tugged me up, sloughed off the crud and straighten out my shoulders. Yes, girlfriends are true treasures.

To all my girlfriends...
thank you
thank you for all that you are as a woman
for all that you have done to me, for me, with me and because of me
Your spirit is awesome.
We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at least a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindnesses there is at least one which makes the heart run over.
- James Boswell

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Bit by Bit

I couldn't resist. I scolded myself yesterday for not bringing my good digital camera to work. Today, I scolded myself, again! Then I took out my 'back-up' camera, found a half-decent floppy disk, and indulged my flower craving! This little garden is next to me and I love it's truly wild appearance! Notice the red beauties spilling through the white wire to sunbathe on top of the curbing. They just couldn't help but stretch themselves out to catch some rays! The orange California poppies were buttery cups filling themselves up with liquid sunshine...barely able to hold it all! Feathery greens swayed in the among the blossoms, and although she alluded my picture taking, a worker bee was happily skipping from blossom to blossom, gathering treasures from the garden with which she'll use to make her wonderful honey! Nature Note: 'worker' bees are always female. They are the ones to go out to collect nectar and pollen to take back to the hive, build the hive cells, feed the newly-emerging baby bees and ...get this... they also feed the drones. Uh... all drones are male. Their job, if you can call it that, is to mate with the queen bee to produce more offspring. (comments may be left at the end of this entry...see below).
I really should have taken a picture of my butt, though. I was bit there this week....Tuesday night, to be precise. Grieving a lost relationship is difficult, at best. Especially when it didn't go the way you wanted it to, dreamed it would, hoped it had. I've been so busy dealing with finances, legal issues, selling the house, safety and peace that I haven't dealt with the first basic fact...a dissolution of a long, very long marriage. My heart is all afire... and I guess it's allowed to have it's say in all of this. It's wanting to bake a plate of cookies to pass along with the kites, tools, briefcases, books and other various items of his on Saturday. It's telling me to keep one of his shirts...not to send it with the others, so that I can put it on some night, remember when, and have a good cry. I might. My head says to just be patient...that my heart will work through all this. My butt hopes it happens soon.
Don't wish me happiness-
I don't expect to be happy...
it's gotten beyond that somehow.
Wish me courage and strength
and a sense of humor-
I will need them all.
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Yellow for Blue

Nothing says spring like daffodils! Sunny, yellow, bright, open wide, hardy and dressed in their finery... I know it's spring when the daffodils arrive! Each year about this time, a local kitchy grocery store gets in daily shipments of these beauties. When you buy them, they look like a bunch of asparagus...true! No yellow ... just green stalks and a bulge at the top. But a day in water, and this is what you're greeted to when you come down to breakfast! This store sells these perky pals at 10 for 99 cents! What a deal! I buy a bunch of them and take them to work and give them to all of my buddies! I also put a bunch in a mason canning jar, dress it up with a necklace of raffia and grace my desk corner for a good week with sunshine and spring!

I'm having a rough couple of days... my heart is hurting...and it will for a few more. But, looking at this makes me feel better. Like a band-aid. Salve for the soul....

Sunday, March 19, 2006

My Fine, Feathered Friend

He's hard to see, but look very closely at the street light. See that little thing on the top of the light? That, my friend, is a bird. A mockingbird, to be exact. Why do I point this out? Because this little fellow has winged his way into a special place in my heart.

You see, this little guy sings. He sings like no other bird that I have ever noticed before. His notes are piped all over our homes, backyards, and through our windows with such clarity, passion and unbridled joy! His repretoire is beyond amazing and so varied... he seldom repeats a song!

Still wondering why I point this out to the world? It's because...

He does his singing...
at night.
Pitch-black nighttime.
Two-in-the-morning nighttime.
Nobody-is-up nighttime.

I first noticed this little guy two springs ago. I was tossing in bed, trying to fall back to sleep. It was one of those beautiful spring evenings when you open the windows wide and sleep with a cool night breeze brushing your cheek. As I lay there in psuedo-slumber, trying to return to my dreams, I took notice that all was not quiet. I realized that I heard a bird. A singing bird. In the middle of the night. In the dark. At first I thought that perhaps the little guy had errantly received a shot of caffine by partaking of someone's double-mocha-two-percent-americano-espresso that they had left on a patio table or something. I mean, why else would any diurnal (that means 'daytime') creature even be up at this time?! I lay there for a good half-hour listening to his clear, sharp trills as they drifted through the cool, night air. How funny, I thought.

What was funny, though, was that the next night, he was back...singing his aria with just as much passion and gusto! "This can't be!", I thought. No bird sings in the middle of the night... again! This guy has his days and nights totally mixed up! But he did sing. And he continued to.

And I continued to listen.
And enjoy.
And follow his songs and their individual stories.

I was so captivated by this oddity, that I mentioned it to a teammate at work one day. She told me that it was probably a mockingbird; a bird with a strong determination, a bit of orneriness for good measure and the ability to mimick and sing a plethora of songs heard from other birds among it.

As the nights went by, I lay in bed listening to him sing and sing and sing....for hours each night!
He never seem to tire, or take a break, or just give up after a few minutes and head off to nest himself. I pictured him sitting in the mesquite tree in my neighbor's yard - cloaked among the branches and leaves. But I discovered that that wasn't his stage. His stage was the top of a street light. And not only was my buddy serenading our little neighborhood, he was also dancing - every few minutes, he would jump up about a foot or so, flail out his wings and then float back down to his spot. I had never seen this behavior before, and I wasn't sure why he was doing this, so I watched him for a while to make sure I really was seeing this display! He continued his song and dance routine as I drove off to work early in the morning.

This scene when on nightly, not daily, but nightly for several months. At times, I was worried for him...worried that some neighbor might be so bothered by this nightly performance that they would try to put an end to my buddy's solos. I was afraid that what I considered to be a gift and a treat would be viewed by someone else as a noisy disturbance and nuisance that needed to be silenced. But, luckily, that has never happened.

It's springtime - flowers are blooming, grass is greening, leaves are stretching out among tree branches and warm days are beginning to grace us. And my friend is back! Is this the ritual that mockingbirds perform in hopes of meeting their springtime love? Perhaps. But I don't think so for this little fellow.

What is he so happy about that he spends his nights warbbling and trilling into the cool, inky sky? Is he singing to the moon as she rolls overhead? Is he so full of joy, that his little body can't hold it all in and he has to sing it out to the world? Or is he singing lullabies to those of us who can't seem to sleep through the night and need help drifting back into slumber?

Who knows for sure.

But what I do know is that I appreciate his performances and I am grateful for his talent. If this little guy can be so happy and have so much to sing about, then surely I can too!

Look deep, deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.
-Albert Einstein

Friday, March 17, 2006

Hush.... the forest is resting....

Take a long look at this....
This was the view from my bed the last two nights... literally... all I had to do was raise up, turn my head and look out the window that my scrumptious bed was butted up to on the wall. My pillow rested on the window sill. I could look up from where my head was laying and count stars in the inky night sky.

The first night in the cabin I slept little... how could I with this being the view above my head!?! It was the night after the Full Worm Moon, and she glowed brilliantly through the skeletons of the ponderosa pines burned three summers ago. I tell you, the moon in the forest sky is the brightest, whitest moon possible. Oh yeah, we all think that we know what the moon looks like when we step outside our suburban homes and look above our neighbor's roof to catch a glimpse of her. But know this to be true... you have never really seen the moon until you have seen her from atop a mountain high in the forest. The sad truth be, most of us don't even give this lunar orb a second thought. We have come to regard it's existence like that of the corner grocery store. Always there. Always will be there. No big deal.

But it's a big deal to this girl.

I am always amazed by the moon, humbled by her quiet existence. She asks for big flare ups, no long, harsh, searing rays to draw attention to herself. She just quietly rolls across the blue-black night sky...putting on the most etheral light show for those who take the time to admire her. Oh, and give her a blanket of snow, and you'll be treated to the most beautiful scene of all... quiet radiance ... sparkling and shimmering for man and beast alike.

I took this picture with my digital camera pressed up to the glass of the window. No flash. No fancy settings. I just wanted to capture forever what I had spent the night looking at. As the moon began to slip to the base of the pines and out of sight for a rest, a furry brown bunny hopped into view...looking for a pre-dawn nibbling of grasses and berries. He's a lucky fellow... for this is the view from his breakfast table every morning.

A Myriad of Joy Before Even Cracking One...

Eggs.... fresh from the hen house. They are a gift from M this morning before we headed home. She has several kinds of chickens and they produce the most beautiful eggs. She had a full dozen of them waiting for us in the refrigerator of our cabin when we got there.

I love this picture. I love the color of the eggs...browns, rusts, blues, greens, and blends of all of them...speckled with brown dots... people pay good money to buy fake ones at the boutiques... I have the real deal here... I was so taken with the color, shape and pure beauty of them that I put them in this bowl, set it down on the floor and began shooting pictures. I took about 8 on my digital camera and probably the same amount with the SRL camera. I thought it would be a great shot of shape, color and lighting and I am thrilled with it. I love the quirkiness of it..shadows, sillouette, trace shadow of lace curtains nudging the bowl. I have it as my computer wallpaper... and it is a pure delight to look at. Simple beauty...simple pleasure.... simple abundance.

* * * * * * * * *

I just got back from up on the mountain...a log cabin, two teenagers, some good food, good drink, good books and two whole days to do nothing but stoke the wood-burning stove, decide what type of drink to fix, dinner to make, book to read... all in a glorious setting of ponderosa pine, oak and the most shimmering blanket of snow laid down amongst the trunks. Two feet of snow greeted us - the forest had put on her best dress...white silk...and draped diamonds from her boughs.

We unpacked our stuff and hauled it up the path to the cabin that M had plowed. Unpacking at D.S. is like coming home from a trip and settling back in to peace and solitude. Soon, the stove was full of oak and one match was all it took to keep it warming us right up until we left. Of course, I brought the customary candle to keep sentry during our stay... a new scent - Vanilla Oak - (I thought that was particularly fitting) - and we began our R & R with the cermonial lighting. Thus, our getaway was under way...

The girls played in the snow for several hours. Their imagination and a forest full of wet, icy snow lead them to build an igloo. They came in happy, exhilerated, tired and sopping wet. Hot, steamy showers of the best well water around and clothes hung up around the stove to dry and the evening was soon settling on us. Dinner was my famous shrimp pasta dish, complete with garlic bread - and a visit with my dear buddy M. It was good to get caught up with her... I love her dearly and was only sorry that I had sadness to tell of my current situation. But M holds me close to her heart, as does her husband, E, so it was ok to fill in the spaces from a previous email. It was one more baby step to be taken.

Yesterday was spent in my favorite flannel pajamas, puffy pink slippers, cozy afghan and the book "The Pact" by Jodi Picoult. Every so often I'd carefully place another hunk of oak in the stove on top of the sunset red embers from the previous log. The girls continued building their igloo and we stayed in touch with walkie-talkies. I read and read and read....what a decadent thing to do!!!! (I got over my guilt quickly, though). Later on, I did brunch dishes, cleaned up the kitchen, swept the floor, tidied up the fire logs, folded afghans, made my bed and fluffed up the place and then settled back down with my book and a mug of hot tea with honey. Pure decadence, I tell ya!

It's amazing how two days spent in peace, solitude and away from phones, mail, computers and all the other stuff in my life can feel like two weeks!!! What does that say?!?! I needed it and am forever grateful that I have a place that I can go to like D.S.

This corner of Earth smiles for me.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Abounding Beauty

Yosemite National Park...I love this picture. This trip was just an amazing experience and I have such great, fond memories of it. Notice the white waterfall on the right side? Bridal Veil Falls. Such a piece of nature that is nothing short of just being purely awesome.

M and I are packing. We're heading up to the mountains for a couple of days to go rest our minds, our spirits and our bodies. There is almost 4 feet of snow from last weekend's storm where we are headed. I can't just take it all in...the glint, the shimmer, the sparkle! To make it even better, 'tis a full moon tonight... the Full Worm Moon. Tomorrow night will be just etheral with the bright rays of a full moon reflecting off the snowy blanket. What a visual treat it will be. Cold noses...tracks in the snow of nature's creatures.... the call of a wolf in the forest night. Anticipation is half the fun for me...

Sunday, March 12, 2006


Snow... on a desert mountain. A rare sight for us desert rats. The storm yesterday brought a full day of much-needed rain... almost 24 hours worth. Just 30 miles east it was a different story... powdered sugar sprinkled on top of a mountain. Truly a rare sight! Oh, it's happened before, about once every 5 or 6 years, but it's been a long time since it happened to this extent. Mother Nature laid the perverbial blanket of white down along the range and it's absolutely beautiful! I went for a drive this morning with the purpose of taking a shot or two of it. I found a little mound of dirt at the end of a street. Climbed over a little cable barrier and up on the mound and this was my view. I was only there for 5 mintues or so... enough to get several shot on my digital camera and one on my cell phone. But what was funny was as I turned around and started heading down the mound towards my car, there were three other families pulled over, getting out and heading up the mound with kids and cameras in tow! Yes, this is a very unfamiliar sight - and the beauty of it is that it's not wasted. Us desert rats know a good thing when we see it...and we enjoy it as much as possible! I'm suppose to travel up north in two days to spend a couple of days in a secluded log cabin in the middle of the forest. I don't know if my car will make it on the dirt road back into the forest due to all of the snow that fell up north, so I'll determine that by tomorrow. I hope I can make it...but if not, this will be my snow-fix for the week.

*Hummer, I'm so very sorry.... thank you for all the joy that you gave me. May you be safe and free with Mom forever.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Reflections in Rain Water

This is what I see when I sit outside at lunchtime. There is the sweetest wild flower garden about 15 feet from the picnic table, and this little guy was just begging me to take his picture for 3 days. I finally remembered to take my camera to work and I took his portrait...I just love the way he's smiling for the camera!!

This is quite a contrast from the weather today...heavy low clouds skimming the mountains, millions and millions of white ballerinas popping on the street and concrete, only to tire out and come resting in a puddle of rain water. Low bellied prisms of water sliding slowly down my window pane. Green grass stretching up out of sopping wet ground....drinking in every delicious drop of this precious resource. We've waited 143 days for this...and everyone and everything is taking it all in.

I am celebrating this wonderful weather by not getting out of my pajamas! I am totally comfortable in my pink pajama pants, my white long-sleeved t-shirt, and my old, worn red plain flannel shirt. We cleaned house today in our pajamas, went for an errand in our pajamas and I've now done a good deal of finance work in my pajamas. Just love it!

The house is clean and quiet. My mind has found some peace by the two hours of work I just put in accounting for bills paid over the last serveral months and due dates for this month's bills. I was dreading doing this little job, but knew I would feel a sense of accomplishment when I did it...and I do. Tomorrow, I may just tackle the tax end of this whole fiasco. I got a kick in the pants (ok, pajama bottoms) from K last night. So today, we lowered the price of the house and are looking forward. I am very ok with this.

Picture this if you're out rock climbing and you come to a divide between two huge chunks of granite, millions of years old. You know you have to cross this gouge if you want to continue on. By the looks of it, you could hop over, but the landing spot isn't flat, and there's not much to catch you if you bobble on the hop over. You could take a big step with one leg and hopefully cross over...but the divide looks to be just beyond your comfortable leg stretch. So you stare, and ponder... weighing the options of both... and the consequences of an unsuccessful attempt. Are you willing to risk it? If you don't, then your hike has ended and you will return down the path you already took up. To go forward means to do something with a bit of skill, a bit of luck and a bit of blind faith. Do you do it??

I'm mid-air right now...

Friday, March 10, 2006

Nose Candy

Bearded irises.... my favorites (or at least, one of many favorites). My love of them began back in Ohio when I was little. We had them growing along the back of our chain-linked fence. They were purple. I would pass by the forsythia bushes, the lilac bushes that arched over my head, past some Queen Anne's lace and through the pine trees to find wands of green with crowns of purple standing in their secluded spots of quiet glory.

You know how a certain scent is emblazoned in your mind forEVER?!?! It's that way for me with irises. The soft, sweet, ethereal scent that awaits one's nose is such a strong imprint in my mind...never dulled by years gone by.

I have my own back yard now. Not in Ohio. It is graced with irises here and there. Today, 3 gloriously sunny-yellow ones greet passer-byers from my front garden. I am ever so tempted to cut one and take it to work with me, as I have in the past. But since my home is on the market, I leave them all...thinking that someone driving by in the market for a new home might have their memory touched by seeing my irises gracing my front yard..amid the Queen Anne's lace and other wild flowers...and fall in love with my home. I tell myself that it's ok to not be taking irises to work with me each week. I tell myself it's ok. I tell myself that when all the dust settles this year and I have a new back yard, I'll be able to have new irises stretching out of the soil and bursting with furls and glory. Then, I entertain the idea that when the house is sold and I pack up my life, maybe I'll dig up my irises and take them with me!!! Shhhh.... don't tell anyone.....

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Gratitude x 5

Take a moment, and think about your day today.... I'll wait while you do that....

Now... I want you to think of 5 things... 5 things that you encountered today that brought you peace, that brought a smile to your heart, that seemed 'nice' ... I'll wait again...

These things don't have to be 'big'.... just things... however big or small...

Why do this? I'll tell you. Back in 1997, I read the book 'Simple Abundance'... What a wonderfully uplifting, acknowledging, insightful, nourishing piece of writing. The daily readings brought me a newfound look upon my life, my world, myself. I shared this book with my friends abundantly'...
telling all about how this book had changed my life. Change...sometimes a scary word... but it was a 'good' change. I looked at things differently... Let me give you an example.

One of the things that the author talks about doing is to write down each day 5 things that you are grateful for that day. At first this seemed odd and foreign to me. Like right, I'm going to write down 5 things. It was hard at first. Nothing big, nothing great had happened to me. But after opening my heart, and looking through my day with a more grateful pair of glasses, it became almost second nature to experience the simple abundance and gratitude that the author was talking about. I purposefully wrote down my 5 gratitude daily for about a year. I looked forward to it each was like putting a bow on each day and tucking it away...eagerly waiting for the next day's entry.

I no longer actually write down my 5 daily loss, no doubt. But I do acknowledge them and think of them several times each day. Corny, perhaps, but it brings me joy. It brings me happiness. It brings me a sense of well being. Corny, perhaps, but ...

Today, my 5 gratitudes are... *watching a hummingbird dart among my daughter's tennis team mates at their match today... squeeking and darting about with such speed and grace.... *the most beautiful clouds in the dusk sky... nimbus, cirrus and some that looked literally like they had been painted on in brush strokes...they turned cool blue as the yellow sun set behind the South Mountain... *peace in my home.... I spoke with my daughter about this during dinner tonight... just know that I am most appreciative of the peace in my home *lunch with my friends today ... a birthday celebration and brownies to indulge in... *an email from my dear ya-ya sister... I answered her back with a simple 'I absolutely love you...'

I could add more to my list, but you get the idea. None of the above gratitudes is for sale at Target. For me, that's the beauty of them. They are free, for the drinking in.

I challenge you to try this. At the end of your day, take any peice of paper and write down 5 things that happened that you are thankful for, that you are grateful for, that made your day a brighter one. Is it hard sometimes to come up with 5? Maybe at first....but after a few times, you'll find you might have a hard time stopping at 5... And guess what... you don't have to stop at 5... that's the beauty of it all...

it's the simple joys, the simple pleasures
the heart remembers and dearly treasures.
- Hadin Marshall

Monday, March 06, 2006

Whipped Cream Skies

Luv it...just love it! Clouds out of the window of a jet bound for fun! As most of my friends know, I am a total nut over flying. I have always loved planes since I was a little girl. My dad would take us out to the airport, Kentucky Fried Chicken dinner pack on our laps, and we would watch the planes land and listen to the pilots talk to the control tower over a special radio. I never cease to be amazed at the dynamics of flying...the fact that a 30 ton glob of steel and machinery can leave the bounds of earth's gravity and fly in a controlled manuever to a pre-conceived destination is just simply amazing. I will park at the airport and watch the planes take off and land and find myself drifting into dreams and plans for traveling. Heck, for me, half of the fun of traveling by plane is just going to the airport and going through the preboarding ritual. Crazy?? Perhaps...but pure fun in my book.

This picture was taken during the previously-mentioned Vegas trip. I love the view of clouds from earth, but I am in awe of the view from above. To me, clouds like this look like a can of whipped cream has been squirted in the sky. The shading, contours, shapes and ethereal effect of billowy white takes my breath away. When looking out the window at a view like this, it's as if I'm being allowed to see something special, something previledged, something not everyone gets to see. I take it all in, relish it, treasure it, am humbled by it and am grateful for it. Yes, it's true. I'm a kid in an airplane. Guilty... so do I get my pilot wings pin?? Huh, do I??

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Eye Candy

This is one of my favorite pictures. I took it of the ceiling of the Bellagio hotel in Las Vegas two summers ago. A friend and I were celebrating the completion of our Master's program with a two day trip to the city that never sleeps. I was captivated by the ceiling of the lobby...unlike anything I had ever seen. The 'flowers' were done by a very famous glass-blowing artist (I don't recall his name currently, but do a search of the Bellagio and you'll certainly find him). I took a lot of pictures of the ceiling, always trying to find the perfect shot. I stood there and just stared at it for the longest see something different each minute. Like looking up at a field of rainbow flowers!

A day of a lot of colors...emotions. I called on J for some fatherly advice...and he was wonderful. Very insightful, very honest, very knowledgeable. I needed that advice.

Last night I went to a friend's house for dinner. She has an absolutely amazing's cozy, it's so comfortable, so inviting, so beautiful! I walked it and didn't even get 3 feet inside before dropping my jaw in wonder and amazement! K is a fabulous woman....self-assured, smart, full of energy, kind-hearted and cute as a bug! She's the type of girlfriend that you feel like you've known for a long time. Nice, huh? Her back yard was charming, pretty, inviting and soothing to the spirit. K made the nicest dinner of chicken with mushrooms, a beautiful salad with walnuts, blue cheese crumbles and cranberries (pretty as a picture out of Martha's book), toasted bread and yummy asparagus drizzled with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. The dinner was a treat! Oh, and a bowl of fresh fruit for dessert.....yum-E! I had the time of my life touring K's home and girl talking about everything from paint to men to real estate to shopping - all sorts of things. It was food for my soul and spirit and I will always be deeply grateful to her for sharing her home and herself with me. A beautiful evening, indeedy.

Busy week ahead with tough items to take care of. Can do it. Will do it. Focus and center.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Rays of gratitude

Rays of subtle light sometimes peek out from cloudy places. One is an order of vintage charms being sent my way - ohhh, I can hardly wait! I've waited for 3 weeks to receive it! The other is my son taking M to the concert...thus leaving me an evening to catch up... I'm having trouble sleeping and often, I wake at 1:30 or so and lay awake for hours...I mean hours.... until 5 am...with 45 minutes left before the alarm. Needless to say, my energy level is not quite up to parr... I've been thinking that I should set up a little place for my daily medication, a good multi-vitamin and an iron tablet. I should take those every morning. I should take them because that would mean I was taking care of myself. Which is what I need to do. Perhaps that is my goal this weekend.

I'm grateful for many things. Such as - M being on the tennis team, which she loves. The hummingbird who greets me some mornings from his perch in the mesquite tree above my parking space. He squeaks 'good morning'...and whistles at the sun rise. I love it! I'm grateful for being able to enjoy our beautiful weather during lunchtime...what a beautiful place to indulge in some down time. I'm grateful that my family is well. I'm grateful that I can pay my bills. I'm grateful that my problems, although they seem absolutely humongous to me, are fixable and I will get through them. I try to never forget that there so many people who would give their right arm to have my problems. There is a mom and dad tonight who are sitting by their child's bed in a hospital, greiving at the news that they have received. They would trade places with me in a heartbeat, and I try to never forget that. I am truly blessed...and I must never forget that.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Ahh... but can you smell the rain?

A fitting picture... stormy clouds...oh hell, let's be honest... it's a flippin' tornado! Such is the experience that I am going through in my life...

Wow....what a difference 6 months makes.

But we all go through storms in our lives.

Hang on... this, too, shall pass...