putting '06 to bed

My wishes for you for the new year...

• good health and fun times for you, your family and friends
• buckets of blessings for you along your journey
• time to nurture your spirit ... and follow your bliss!
• JOY!

... a few last images of what is now Christmas Past ...

Happy New Year !

Ahh... at last.....

Ahhhh....

winter break...

at last....

It's been a crazy ride the past two weeks... so much going on at work and I've been so sick. It all came to a wonderful end today with the much anticipated event ---"Faculty Follies"!

The staff puts on a 'talent show' each year on this day, and it's simply a hoot! This year's theme was 'Deal, or No Deal'.

It really is amazing to see it all come together, considering it is put together in just a matter of days. I had two parts...a sick elf (hey, no problem there! I've been practicing for the last 4 weeks!!) and a commercial staring Martha Stewart...I being 'Martha'. A can of whipped cream was her comeupence... and done with such finesse by my buddy, Kristi. The staff is just amazing...the show was so funny and it is always a wonderful way to end school before break and start the holiday season! But I am so glad to be done. I need a couple of weeks to really get back on my feet. I've been so remiss in everything... from house cleaning, to grocery shopping, to keeping in touch with my ya-ya's, to all the things that come with the season. I've come to the realization that I'm just not going to be 'Martha Stewart' this season. That bums me out, but truly...with as sick as I've been, there wasn't anything that I could do about it. And truly, my Christmas was made a while back... in the form of love, hope and peace... so I want for not.

Are you all set for Christmas?? I hope you able to find some time this weekend to take a moment and enjoy the time you have with yourself, your family and friends. They delight in just having you nearby...so don't worry about what you haven't gotten done. We will all come out the other side of the holidays loving each other just as much, whether gifts were bought or wrapped, whether cookies were made, whether cards were sent....

It's cloudy and dark outside... a steady rain is plopping down. I have my Christmas light plugged in and a fire buring in the fire place. M is at a friend's house for the night. I am in my pajamas and just enjoying the fact that this day is here. I might make a nice little dinner for myself, perhaps a glass of wine to go with it, and snuggle myself into bed for a much-needed sleep that is not interupted by an early alarm.

I wish you peace these next few days. I love you. Bless you...

a tree of life

all year long, i have a little pine tree that stays up in my living room... lights and all...

i call it my 'life tree'....

it has ornaments on it from all phases of life of late... true, some of them are Christmas ones...and snowmen, and angels... but most are not... most are talismen of a journey taken and thoughts, prayers and love served along the way.

a cranberry pomegranate forever preserved on the end of a ribbon, a copper acorn, a jeweled butterfly, a pony bead bracelet from one of my students, an inscribed ornament to my mother two months after she passed away, and many more celebrating friendship, love, hope and faith...each one with its own story...all topped with a gentle angel, made from a paper plate by one of my former students who is Muslim....

it's one of my treasures.. and it serves me very well, indeed...

this year, as was the case of last year, too, it will be our Christmas tree... and as is not the case of last year, there are already a couple of presents beneath it...but the gifts this tree gives are without end...they last all year for me...

...yes, Christmas lasts all year for me...

Santa and Me

I've always believed in Santa....because I've seen him!

One of my treasures from my mom are some old photos...don't we all have a few of those? This one has always been one of my favorites... mostly because I remember that day so vividly.

I had just turned 4 a few days before. Mom, my baby brother and I got all gussied up and took the bus downtown to THE department store in Columbus, Lazarus, to see Santa Claus! I was dressed in my velvet black skirt, red leotards, black patent leather maryjane's and a crisp, white blouse with puffy sleeves. I was all ready to meet the big guy who held the toys of my dreams!

We had to stand in line with a lot of other boys and girls...all eyeing Santa with a mixture of excitement and a bit of fear - this guy was the real deal and to think that he had come down all the way from the North Pole just to see us today was almost more than a little child's heart could handle!

We would all watched as the child in front of us climbed up on Santa's lap and stared in awe and wonder at the face of Father Christmas. He chuckled his deep 'Ho! Ho! Ho!' and would ask what the little one's name was. Timidly, the name was whispered as eyes were bugged out! Santa would ask if he or she had been a good girl or boy and then ask what they wanted for Christmas. Most were able to mumble out a few suggestions; others would be overcome with the notion that they were being swallowed up by a huge red and white monster and let out such a cry of 'Save me, Mom!!!' that those of us in line were not sure whether to run for our lives before we, too, were gobbled up or simply resolve our nerve that we were not going to let this chance to meet Santa get away from us! I chose the latter....

My turn...

Santa lifted me up onto his lap ... and there he was.... I was sitting with Santa Claus!!

I remember being struck by the amount of white beard he had...and hair... it was all over the place! I had never seen so much hair in my life!! He asked if I had been a good girl... "yes!" was my reply! Then came the question that I was so excited to answer - "What do you want for Christmas?" I was only too happy to tell him that I wanted a baby doll! And by the sparkle in his eyes, I knew that Santa Claus was writing this item down by my name in his mind and that he wouldn't let me down! The flash bulb went off and Santa gently set me down. One of his 'elves' handed Santa a candy cane, which he passed to me, along with a "Merry Christmas!".

I had just met Santa Claus!

That Christmas eve, I sat in front of my window and looked out into the clear, sliver-blue midnight sky. It's common knowledge that Santa doesn't come until you're fast asleep, but I knew Santa wouldn't mind if I waited for him so that I could smile at him one more time! I sat and stared out into the night...

and sat...

and sat...

and stared...

and waited...

looking for a red glow in the inky night... a sign of Rudolph's nose leading the sleigh my way....

waiting to hear those 36 hooves up on my rooftop... the sound of presents being tucked under our Christmas tree downstairs....

I never did see Santa Clause that night... I fell asleep by my window....

but that morning, I found the present that Santa Claus had brought just for me! My baby doll!

He brought me a baby doll! He remembered!! What pure JOY!

Now, 46 years later, much has changed in this little girl's world. But one thing that hasn't is my belief in this guy. It's why I get goosebumps and a lump in my throat when I watch 'The Polar Express' and the reindeer are jumping and pulling at the anticipation of taking off on their night course to bring joy to boys and girls all over the world! It's why I get misty-eyed at 'Rudolph' when the other reindeer tease him because of his nose and won't let him play in any reindeer games. It's why the picture above is so precious to me. Because...

I believe.

"I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year."

Friends, Family, Fun and Follie at Fifty

It's here... the big 5 - 0 ! The half-century mark! The 'if I live to be 100, I'm half way there!' day...

I made it.. to 50.

Damn, it doesn't seem possible.

50 sounds so old to me... so old.

I had a bit of a trying time yesterday as I mused my last day of being in my 40's. I think it would be fair to say that I was upset about turning 50. Pondering where I was in life. Thinking about my future. All sorts of thoughts..... as I cleaned house, set out Christmas decorations, did some errands and made a new lighted garland for my front door....Damn, I'm getting old. Don't like this one bit. Could I have 49 over for another year to enjoy a bit more than I did this past year???

As I climbed into bed, I thought .. 'hmm... when I wake up, I'll be 50. this is my last night going to bed in my 40's.'

* ADVISORY!! Please keep the 'wake up' portion of the above statement in mind. It plays a role in the picture above. **

DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG!

Out of a sound sleep, I was roused by the peeling doorbell... and INSISTANT doorbell... in the middle of the night!! Who the hell was this?? What was going on?? I figure any time someone is ringing your doorbell at 3 in the morning in the cold dark, it can't be good. M met me at the top of the stairs with concern. I went down the stairs, looking towards the front window... by damn, son-of-a-bitch.... if my ex is playing another sick attack on me, so help me... I'll call 911 and they can put out the flaming bag of dog shit!! Always on guard, I am... always am now.....

I saw what looked to be one of my ya-ya's go running past my window...away from the door. ????

What the heck is R doing? I started to unlock the door, then changed my mind. Cautious, C...this is a birthday trick... you'll be bombed, attacked, something... this whole thing reeks of trouble!

I peeked out the door window. Didn't see anything.. no flames, no smoke, no gore... hmm... I cautiously unlocked the door... it's black out.... there's no flaming bag of dog shit, or anything else for that matter, on my porch... no one around.... ???? You mean someone is out in the middle of the night playing 'ding-dong ditch'?? And my ya-ya???? I step a foot out the door.. and there it is.... FLAMES!!!!!!!!!!!

oh... but the GOOD kind! 50 little tea lights wearing tu-tu's of silver foil... each one waving a birthday 'hello' to me!! all over my front yard.... a sea of birthday candles....

Dumbfounded, I turn to my left to see where that pinned-up blond haired ya-ya of mine is... expecting to see or hear her car screech around the corner... but no....In a sight that I will never forget... there sit BOTH of my ya-ya's... R and N... in camping chairs in a row, with down blankets, Starbuck's latte's in hand, the most beautiful smiles upon their faces and James Taylor singing softly in the background from the boombox on the grass.... candles glowing in the dark of night...

"Happy Birthday!!!"

they cheered!

My ya-ya's had driven all the way up at 5 am, in the cold and dark, to greet my birthday with me...

and they had made a party of it!!! I didn't know what to do first! So many things went through my mind... 'I don't have to call 911!! My ya-ya's are here! It's dark and cold and they've made a party for us! They've surprised me!!'

It took a minute for the shock and surprise to subside a bit... and I was hustled inside to grab a coat (mind you, I'm in my sleeveless nightgown...and it's proably all of 37 degrees out). Coat on, I charge back outside, sit in the middle chair and sip a venti gingerbread latte with my girls as my birthday candles gently flicker in the night. We listened to words of wisdom by Mr. Taylor...of which my ya-ya bebe' had made! In the dark. In the cold

It was beautifully fun! A riot! Joyful!

We sat out there for almost two hours....

...the shade of night lifted as sunlight stretched its wings

...a lonely, melodic train whistle wafted in from the southeast...announcing its passage through town

...a chevy pickup whizzed by, spitting newspapers onto driveways... wonder what they thought??

...an errant dog trotted by, peed on a rock, and continued on his darken way...

laughing, talking, giggling at the kookiness of it all,

R and N... I thank you from the bottom of my 50-year-old heart... for EVERYTHING that you have given me during the last three days, and during the last year and a half of my life... you are amazing... simply amazing....

my day was sprinkled with birthday blessings from my children and plans for dinner tomorrow, brunch with my ya-ya's (how they look so good after being up so early is beyond me!), phone calls and flowers from 'margarita'... a connection with my 'second son' who is moving to Alburquerque... a call from my 'master's buddy'... a call from a frosty friend up north in her cabin...it was simply the best... the best of life.... best friends, good health, a home, the best of jobs with the best of co-workers...and the ability to enjoy through sight and sound the gift of another day...

is there better?

my attitude about turning 50 is different today... I stand on this side of the peak and I am so thankful to have been able to enjoy such an awesome day in my life... If my today is any indication of what my 50's are to be, then I truly am in for the time of my life!

I am not afraid of tomorrow,

for I have seen yesterday and

I love today.

- William Allen White

oh, one more thing... thank you, Mom

Blessing to all of my family and friends...