Monday, January 29, 2007

Top Ten List

Let me state this right up front... I'm not lookin' for anyone... a guy, that is...

Oh sure, I think about it every so often... I've even been asked if I'm dating...

you have GOT to be kidding....

I'm just trying to find my way through this life of mine....!!!

But as I said, every so often the subject does come up.... so let's sit back and read why I'll never have a guy in my life again...

10. I refuse to spend my hard-earned money joining match.com, yahoo personals or hot4ahunk.com.
9. I've grown too acustomed to hogging my bed all to myself.
8. The thought of having to explain my idiocincrisies to someone totally overwhelms me. Besides, they wouldn't even understand my hang-up with brand new books and magazines... even my girlfriends have a hard time with it....
7. Middle-aged guys named 'Vern' with bad toupees don't interest me.
6. Let's be honest... most guys my age are really only looking for someone to take care of them in their older age (i.e. read that as either I'd be wiping their ass or their drool for them...)
5. I think I'm pretty much spent in that department... I think this is the part of my life where I am suppose to grow my arm-pit hair out, let my hair go back to it's natural gray, wear moo-moos and be known as that eccentric lady down the street with a lot of cats who has been seen sitting in her backyard at night in the moonlight with a glass of wine in the nude!
4. I'm too complicated, too complex, too everything for one guy to wrap his brain around.
3. I'd have too hard of a time looking into my dog's beautiful brown eyes of love and adoration and try to explain to him that he was no longer the 'lead dog'...
2. With boobs down to my knees, my bait is longer than any guy's worm.
1. Bob Seger and John Mellencamp are already taken.

So there we be!! This should put to rest any speculation about 'will she or won't she?' I know my ya-ya, N, is ready to drop kick me right now, tell me how I don't know what God has planned for me, YA-da, YA-da.... but I beg to differ....

went to shave my underarms this morning in the shower....

all out of razors....

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

No, not "drop-kick" you....just will remind you again, that for a spirit who so loves and appreciates GOD, (and not just from the second pew on a Sunday) you have him/her "all" figured out....what's up with that?

Do not presume to "know" it all dear one....I can see through your fear and resolve my Ya-ya...let GOD, (and of course R and me!!!) to help you go through this time in your life....let "him" design this huge and amazing plan....let go and keep your heart open to all his possibilities....

N

Anonymous said...

I couldn't agree more with Ya Ya - N..........listen up my dear friend, keep your mind and soul open as the best is yet to come!!

J

Chickenbells said...

Oh I love your list...I'm still looking for the special one (don't ask me why...I think though, that there's still some dreams I want in life) and I'm not sure the Superhero of late mentioned on the blog is gonna' cut it...back to the drawing board...sigh.