Thursday, May 10, 2007

For Just a Day....

As the days have passed of late, the topic of
'mother' has been on a lot of minds. In my class, my students wrote out the recipe of their favorite dish that their moms make.... ingredients and directions! I typed each recipe up, printed them and bound them into recipe books for the moms...complete with each child's picture and a dedication page. They are priceless! They also are giving their moms beautfiul clay vases that they made in art. I'm sure these will be treasures which their moms will love for a long, long time.

Of course, every sort of media is reminding even the most forgetful that Mother's Day is coming up! We are given all sorts of hints and suggestions as to what to give our mothers to let her know how special she is and how much we love her. Flowers, dinner, electronics, clothes, purses, perfume.... tokens of forever love and deep appreciation.

Sometimes relationships with mothers aren't always flowers and butterflies and flute solos drifting on spring breezes. Often, the relationship one has with one's mother can be challenging, hurtful, frustrating... and confusing. Most are a combination of the good and the bad, the up and the down, the easy and difficult. As with any relationship, those we have with our mothers ride waves. I know mine did.

I say 'did', because my mom died 3 1/2 years ago.

My mom had been sick for about 5 years before she died. She endured countless doctor visits, many, many, many medical tests and procedures, several surgeries, so many medications, dialysis, nursing homes, heart attack, several ambulance rides to the hospital and on.... and on.... I can't tell you how many times I watched her life end, only to be brought back by modern medicine. I did many things to help her be as comfortable and reassured as I could during those years. But often, I felt like I hadn't done enough...not because she made me feel that way, but because I felt so damn helpless to make her damn helpless...

As her birthday is also this month, I think about her even more so during this time. I keep her picture in a very pretty flowered frame right by my desk at school. I look at it often....and think...

...if I only had one more day with Mom, I would...
...put aside the plans I made for Saturday and take her for ice cream and a ride her up for no other reason than to tell her that I loved her over with some flowers from Trader Joe's and surprise her
...forgive her more for the times that I felt that she didn't live up to my expectations of how she should treat me
...have my picture taken with her her a Martha Stewart magazine and take it over to her
...offer to rub her hurting feet with some pretty-smelling lotion her a pretty gown and wrap it up in with a blue bow and watch her open it
...sit beside her on the bed, hold her hand in mine and tell her 'thank you' for taking such good care of me
...have my children spend a few more minutes of their 'precious' time either visiting her or calling her on the phone for just a few minutes, to let her know that she was important in their lives
...make a big bowl of gazpacho for her and deliver it with a hug
...have more patience with her
...and more understanding for her
...sit with her and just listen

....if I only had just one more day with Mom...

For those who will be spending time this weekend with your moms, enjoy her to the fullest! For those whose mother has passed on, I send you a hug and peace for your heart. And for those who are a mom, themselves, may your Mother's Day be full of love and good times!
Happy Mother's Day, ladies!


Chickenbells said...

sniff...sniff...this was truly touching. I will indeed remember this list when I am with my mother and grandmother on Sunday, and we're all about ready to strangle each other...maybe we can just turn it into hugs instead. It also makes me miss you (and want to plant tomatoes) I mailed off your little envelope...check for it soon!

Meg said...

What a beautiful post. I wish you peace in your heart as well. Have a Happy Mother's day.

Simplicity Wins said...

You are so special. Thank you for sharing these thoughts and ideas with us. My mom is in town right now so I will get to spend mothers day with her this year. Usually I don't even get to see her. I am so thankful to have both of my parents active in my life. I will remember your sweet words and treat my mom extra special on sunday. Have you journaled your memories of your Mother? Keep those memories close to your heart. Love you!