Ross

I was lucky enough to call this beautiful spirit of an animal my own 3 years ago this month. Ross. He was a dog rescued from the pound. He was in horrible condition and in need of much love, medical care and a good home. I didn't set out to get Ross. I was at my Starbuck's one morning, and his foster mom was stopping in to get a cup of coffee. I was sitting outside at a table and she asked the girls behind me if they would mind holding his leash while she ran in. The girls were all over this sweet, gentle, furry creature and I couldn't help but take notice. I had recently had to have my Molly put down due to severe arthritis, so the last thing I was thinking about was another dog. But there was something about this spirit that pulled me towards him...and soon I was down on the pavement petting and talking to him. His foster mom and I visited for a while as she told me his history of abuse and neglect, his diagnosis of Valley Fever, imbedded burrs, other issues.... and how she was helping get him back on the mend. Well....an appointment was set up and the foster mom and head lady from the Border Collie Rescue Organization came over to my house for a 2 hour interview to see if my daughter, myself and our home would be a good fit for Ross. It was deemed so, and Ross became part of our family two days later. At the time, I was going through a very difficult divorce, and I'll always remember what the lady said to me towards the end of our conversation.... 'It sounds like you need Ross just as much as he needs you.'

It was true.

Ross melded into our 5-cat family with absolutely no problem. He truly was the perfect, perfect, PERFECT dog. We had our routines of dog bones in the morning, walks at the riparian area, trips down the sidewalk to get the mail, 'flip-chip' treats and rolling in the grass. We played a game on my bed of him trying to roll me over - I always put up a 'fight' each time, but I always let him win in the end. Each time I drove into the garage from being gone, he would squeeze through the doggie door and come over to my car door and stand up to lick my hand and welcome me home. Every time.

Ross also became a fixture at school - because I have a great principal that let's me bring my dog!! My kiddos loved on Ross when he would visit! They petted him, hugged him, kissed him and read books to him. He loved coming to school and would say 'hi' to everyone in the office and workroom, then he would happily trot down the sidewalk to my cottage - he knew the way! He even had his picture on our yearbook page among the kiddos and was our 'Top Cat' one week... he was a part of our world!

Four months ago Ross was diagnosed with lymphoma. The diagnosis knocked me down because it just seemed to come out of the blue and he was so young. A treatment plan of steroids helped keep the symptoms in check and allowed him to continue to live a good life. But the last couple of weeks I could tell that the cancer was starting to take its toll, and on Tuesday, after a distressed morning, Ross walked over, put his chin on my knee and looked me in the eyes....with those beautiful brown eyes of his with so much love and spirit behind them. "The time has come." he told me. "You need to let me go."

And so I did.

I am absolutely heartbroken. More so than I thought I would be. I have done things to remember him this week that I have never done before.... a memory brick made with pebbles, grout and tears. His empty collar now hanging on my bed post. A picture frame ornament hanging on my life tree for years...empty... now filled with his picture. A visit to the riparian preserve to just sit, watch and remember. And tears beyond what I thought I would cry.

You need to know...I am NOT a dog-person. Cat-person, yes. Dog, no. I've always had dogs throughout my life, and I've been in this position many, many times before. I'm a pragmatic person when it comes to elements of life and death and I believe wholeheartedly that it is a gift we give our pets to let them finally be free of hurt, pain and suffering. But this has knocked me down. And I am heartbroken with tears and loss....for my Ross.

Ross. The rescued dog who did the rescuing.

Run free, my dear buddy....my goof....my good boy.....

Run free.